THE WEEKEND AUSTRALIAN
July 26-27, 2003

Ready, teddy, go…Lee Mylne finds Britain is full of furry animals

If Goldilocks lived in modern day Britain, she’d be spoiled for choice. Not only could she kick-start her day with Drambuie porridge, but bear’s chairs and beds abound – the only drawback being that they are usually occupied by furry bottoms.

A recent sweep through England, Scotland and Wales revealed an obsession among the British with the humble teddy bear, in almost any guise. They’re everywhere, smiling benignly from mantelpieces, bookshelves, stairways, shop fronts, pubs and of course from between the sheets of your hotel bed.

Shouldn’t everyone have a bear to go to bed with? They think so at the elegant Hotel on the Park in the Cotswolds town of Cheltenham, where every guest has a teddy to tuck up with. Even actors Kenneth Branagh and Dame Maggie Smith got them when the cast of Harry Potter stayed while filming nearby. Bears are something of a theme at this small hotel. There are two golden ones in the dining room – Gregory, and his friend Theodore who is three feet tall sitting down and has a rather squashed head from too many friendly pats from guests - a sleepy-looking “I’m allergic to mornings” bear in nightcap and gown greets you on your way down to breakfast, and even the wallpaper in the ladies’ loo is emblazoned with them.

I’m convinced this was Goldilocks’ inn of choice when the breakfast menu lists Drambuie porridge – two pounds extra than the alcohol-free version, and designed to startle your palate into waking up before the rest of you. Or is that why she needed to lie down afterwards?

Owners Darryl and Jo Gregory say the bear collection “just grew”. Once upon a time, there were none but they just started moving in. Guests started sending them, from as far as Ohio, and there’s no doubt the current guests love them.

Even London is not safe. In upmarket hotels you can pay about 12 pounds for your very own souvenir bear in hotel regalia. The posh Athenaeum Hotel on Piccadilly has cuddly “Arthur Naeum”, while nearby Raffles Brown’s Hotel – favoured by Lord Byron in his day – has one in full doorman’s uniform. Along Piccadilly, at the English Teddy Bear Shop you can pick up a decent-sized Pooh or Paddington for around eight pounds, or any of a dozen others dressed as beefeaters, policemen or draped in the Union Jack.

So I approach one of my final stops with trepidation. By the time I check into my pre-booked room at The Bear, a 15th century coaching inn in the Welsh hamlet of Crickhowell, I’m completely over the whole bear thing. But while well-behaved dogs are welcome, The Bear is - blissfully - bare of bears.